Saturday, February 25, 2006

Drunk Pride

The openly homosexual Episcopalian Bishop of New Hampshire, V. Gene Robinson, recently announced that he is seeking treatment for alcoholism.

As it is extremely unlikely that he became an alcoholic after being made a bishop, one suspects that the gay rights crowd in the Episcopal Church quietly decided to conceal this fact from public knowledge, lest anyone draw any connections between active homosexuality, substance abuse, and other psychological problems, prior to his election in 2003.

One First Things reader has written a delightful letter to Bishop Robinson, calling upon him to embrace his alcoholism with the same pride that he embraces his homosexual preferences:

Dear Bishop Robinson,


I was dismayed by your February 13 letter, in which you trotted out so many of the same old oenophobic clich├ęs. A diversity-loving man such as yourself ought to know that the word “alcoholism” is nowadays tantamount to “hate speech” and I was saddened to see that you have fallen victim to believing the dubious proposition that oenophilia can (and should) be “cured.”


Long ago, Chardonnay rights activists (dismissively called “bums” by “straight” society) reclaimed the language, and adopted far more empowering terms for the great gift God has given them. Only those who lack an integrated affective libational maturity will use such medieval terminology as “alcoholism” to describe this wonderful gift.


In that spirit, you should reject the self-hatred that would let you label yourself an “alcoholic” (connoting something clinical, perhaps even “objectively disordered”). Rather, you ought to accept yourself as a “lush” (connoting what is verdant and bountiful).


Moreover, it is a well-understood psychological principle that the most vocal oenophobes are themselves oenophiles in secret. So please “come out of the cellar,” Bishop Robinson, and embrace your identity as a lush, the way God made you.


It is my sincere hope that you will take this letter to heart, renounce your oenophobia, and decide once again to embrace the LGBT (Liquor, Gin, Beer and Tequila) community.


Sincerely,


(name withheld)


Indeed. Drunk pride forever!

Might I suggest a subscription to Modern Drunkard to show him that there are many enlightened, tolerant alcoholics who live healthy and productive lives, unashamed of who they are!

1 comment:

SouthernOntarioan said...

As much as I may agree with your concerning the parallels between the two, I think alcoholism is something better left out of it.

As someone who has lost most of my family (on one side) to this disease (recent studies show it to have a possible hereditery link), I felt slightly offended by the article.

As much as I may disagree with the lifestyle choices made by this 'bishop', I am pleased that he is recognizing that his choices can be harmful to himself and I wish him all the best in his treatment.